Moving From Externalization To Healthy Release: Why It Doesn’t Need To Be Put On Others
Introduction
People are getting louder. We are expressing what we have inside ourselves way more often and in bigger ways than we had in the past. Expressing ourselves more fully is being learned through our full range of emotions, which is in our opinions as well as our talked about observations.
We are also now speaking to people in ways that have been held inside for generations. A lot of our expression is turning into externalization of our trauma and is being put onto others that does cause more trauma.
How To Change Externalization
When we feel unhappy with something or someone we express what is bothering us, and a lot of the time it isn’t being said very nicely.
This is when you are triggered; a current situation that unconsciously reminds you of an emotional wounding that happened to you in the past. When you are triggered you are reacting from a past hurt and externalizing your reaction onto the current situation.
In moments when you are triggered and want to react to the person in front of you, being able to temporarily internalize the negative reaction so you are able to respond in a kind way and therefore not externalize onto anyone around you, will reduce the amount of negativity being put onto you. In these moments there are enough negative emotions being put onto others.
Once you have a chance to leave and give yourself a safe space with no one around, emotionally let everything out that you wanted to in the moment, including everything you wanted to tell them. This is not only healthier for you but kinder for everyone involved.
Recognizing When You Are Triggered
When you are feeling and listening to your emotions you can understand yourself at a deeper level. Recognizing when you are triggered in the moment is recognizing reactive emotions coming to the surface. It is very important to recognize and then acknowledge that you are triggered in order to be able to manage yourself in those situations.
As soon as you have acknowledged that you are triggered, you can be who you want to be in these moments, which is either someone who speaks in a way that is fair and calm, or who is someone who just sees they need to walk away.
There are two main reasons someone will walk away from a heated situation. The first is they are trying to avoid it, and the second is they need some space to process their emotions so they don’t externalize onto anybody. They give themself space to process these emotions and then come back later in a better head space in order to resolve things.
Telling vs. Teaching
Telling implies that someone knows all there is to know about a topic and will be putting that knowledge onto the person they are speaking to about it. This is actually a subtle form of externalization, due to not being able to speak their truth when they were younger.
Teaching is when someone is being thoughtful in their knowledge and is willing to guide the person who is learning.
There are an over amount of times when people are telling, and believe they are teaching. There comes a time, when an over abundance of telling will eventually not be heard and therefore not be something that gets taught properly.
Conclusion
As more and more people are healing themselves in a way that is more for their mind and emotions, more and more people will be needing emotional outlets for them to successfully complete their healing. To be able to do this more, people need to be aware and talk more about methods that help people have healthy releases instead of externalizations.
We are coming into a time when people are going to become more aware of how we use our language and voices, as these are incredibly powerful tools that will create more positive change once we have healed.
Helpful Affirmations
“I let people speak.”
“I am here to speak.”
“I am always in a safe space to say what I need to say.”
Try This Today
Speak something as though you are not afraid of getting into trouble.
…
Now how does that feel?
Wishing you love, health & harmony,
Janette
